A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
