absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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