You made me cry and you don't even care
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
