On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he fucked my hip out of place.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
