mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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