my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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