Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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