Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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