My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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