i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
