he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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