Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
