everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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