If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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