dude i'm inner monologue high
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
