Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He's on the porch naked. Help.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
