Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
