i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize