I've blown a few things in my day
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
