I must be too annoying 4 u.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
