You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
