will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
