You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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