Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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