I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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