don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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