Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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