when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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