I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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