Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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