this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
