I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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