college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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