we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
