So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
