North Korea, Best Korea!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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