we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i think my cat just said my name.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
