I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
