paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
