We won't sleep together?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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