what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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