i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
