Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
