would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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