just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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