I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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