and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
