i was rollin on her like bob the builder
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize