Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
