yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
third nipple confirmed
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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