So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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