yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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