That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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