Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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