I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
