Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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