i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
