Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
