i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
