Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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