theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
