I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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