HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
