So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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